Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
this will be a night to untag.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
