he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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