after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
