Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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