you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
