i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
