So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
