chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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