My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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