His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
