Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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