I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
