We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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