thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
More tranny stories later!
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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