me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
