i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
