I wish I could punch you in the face.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
