dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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