You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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