people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
