I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
