Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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