I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
