I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
