hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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