Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
