3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
