I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
