Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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