3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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