dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
