I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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