Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
