woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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