so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
