I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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