I CAN MOONWALK!
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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