I CAN MOONWALK!
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
