If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
