i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
