Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
