How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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