my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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