just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Randomize
