is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
