Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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