i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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