I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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