Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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