no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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