Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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