Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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